We often hear that strong-willed people, who react forcefully when displeased, are strong. However, strong-willed people are only calm and peaceful when everything goes according to their wishes. At any other time, they react explosively and their outbursts can be scary; maybe those who are afraid of them are the ones responsible for calling out-of-control… Continue lendo »
Only people who live in accordance to their own ideals, and don’t break the moral code they built for their lives can have self-esteem; if honesty is an essential virtue to a person, while they might become rich if they accept a bribe, their self-esteem will plummet. A person can’t have a good opinion, nor… Continue lendo »
There are differing opinions about people who express their point of view in a careful and gentle manner, especially when the subject is controversial. Some will say these people are fakes and hypocrites, because they choose their words to please other people; as a result, their honesty is doubted. Others, however, don’t agree with this… Continue lendo »
Love and freedom encounter another peculiar barrier, which is cultural conditioning. For the record, I’ve been very clear in stating that I don’t believe that external pressure is as strong as most people do; they speak of society and its impositions as if it were a boogeyman straight out of our childhood. Nevertheless, human groups… Continue lendo »
Just because someone wants our attention, it doesn’t mean we have to give it to them. It’s an arrogant and selfish attitude to insist on an unwanted interaction, even when coming from a place of love. A man said I was disrespectful and rude. Why did he say such a thing? Because I didn’t want… Continue lendo »
We are told that sex and love are part of the same instinct; I disagree. Love is a pleasant sensation of comfort we feel when we’re close to a special person. It’s what a child feels on their mother’s lap, everyone’s first object of love. The pain that comes from the vulnerability and incompleteness we… Continue lendo »
What makes so many women and men offer explanations to an angry spouse, when they come home late from work? Wouldn’t it be more natural to expect their partners to understand their exhaustion, and welcome them home even more warmly? Why do people feel compelled to attend that Sunday family lunch if they’d rather go… Continue lendo »
I’m going to talk about obesity, and I have no intention of oversimplifying such a complicated issue. What I propose is radically inverting the way we think about it. Instead of focusing so much on overweight people and their habits, we should pay attention to the way thinner people live. Thin people have no idea… Continue lendo »
Many parents balk at setting limits or disciplining their children, afraid they’ll lose their respect, and even their custody, if they are divorced. However, since people establish during their childhood the psychical processes that will follow them throughout life, raising children demands serious consideration.
Upon deeper reflection on some popular adages, we often realize some of them just do not hold up and seem to exist solely to lead us to error; one of them is in the title. I have always been outraged by the concept that, deep down, aggressive and cruel people have a “heart of gold,”… Continue lendo »
– Love implies dependence, being vulnerable. So, loving someone we don’t trust is being reckless with ourselves. Very few couples live well together and have a relationship conducive to emotional and intellectual growth. But exactly because some couples do live happily together, we should do our best to be a part of this exclusive club.
Individualism is a word that can generate controversy and misunderstandings. When it happens, I believe it is because the word has several meanings and evokes different emotions for different people, according to their understanding of it. Individualism has a negative connotation when used as a synonym for selfishness and also when it’s used to describe… Continue lendo »
The word serenity has more than one meaning; the most common one is the ability that some people have to live with and accept adverse situations with grace, especially when the outcome is beyond their control. When under the pressure of self-created expectations, we often become severely upset; we must not allow our future plans,… Continue lendo »
Many of us fear being alone, for reasons that can be somewhat inconsistent. This fear is sometimes associated with the pain we feel right after a breakup and, of course, losing the comfort that comes from a relationship, even a problematic one, is difficult. However, the hurt caused by a breakup does not come from… Continue lendo »
Which is the best way to be fulfilled and happy? These days, we’ve been led to believe that we can achieve a permanent state of happiness from the advances in technology and ensuing changes in society that allow people to live much more comfortably than their ancestors ever did; “paradise is here” seems to be… Continue lendo »
I have been writing about the fear of happiness since the late 1970s, when an odd, unexpected idea came to my mind: I suddenly realized that when people fall in love they start living in a constant state of alert—of panic, even—as if they expected a tragedy to befall them at any moment. I noticed… Continue lendo »
The idea of male superiority prevailed for several centuries; fierce opposition to the concept, which is progressively gaining strength, only appeared on the twentieth century. Men considered themselves to be not only physically stronger, but also smarter, more creative and more sensible, which gave them control over their whole family. They had the power to… Continue lendo »
Children experience a major developmental leap in their second year: they learn how to walk and speak, and hone their motor skills. Up to that point, they had been happiest being held by their mothers, in a peace and comfort such as they lost at birth, feeling for their mothers what we call love. Now,… Continue lendo »
Intimacy is the delightful feeling of closeness and connection that comes from interacting with a special person, whether they are friends, relatives or romantic partners. This kind of relationship is only formed under certain circumstances; the most important is a similarity in the way their system of thought is formed.
Cruelty is possibly best defined as an action that will deliberately bring harm others. The perpetrator is aware that what they are doing is wrong and that it will cause pain, yet they do it anyway. Aggressive reactions are not necessarily cruel: we all can, at some point, either have or suffer from one, as… Continue lendo »