Most men only feel comfortable in a relationship when it’s with a woman they consider weaker, or not as good as they are. Of course, it’s a subjective yardstick that depends on each man’s personal values. Many prefer to have financial control, which makes them feel less afraid their partners will leave them. Others want to feel smarter, more capable, knowledgeable and, of course, physically stronger. Maybe in the past these choices made it easier for men to justify their belief in their intellectual superiority – all they had to do was pick a woman they perceived as inferior to them. Certainly, it was harder for accomplished women to find a suitable partner.
It so happens that when a man is attracted to a woman who turns out to be smarter and more professionally successful than he is, he will very often feel inhibited and unable to perform sexually. Freud noticed in 1912 that men were only able to perform well sexually with women they saw as inferior to them, and claimed this phenomenon had biological causes.
But these days, we can see the issue more clearly. The inability to perform sexually, in this case, happens to men who truly respect and value women; the cure is not easy, but possible, which rules out biological causes.
This is how I see it: men are more visually stimulated and, as such, fascinated by women’s outer beauty. However, they perceive that they’re not as sexually desired, which makes them feel inferior. Thus, they try to make it “even” by trying to be superior to women in other areas, especially those that, traditionally, mattered to women.
Basically, in men’s eyes, a woman’s beauty is a great starting advantage they have to overcome with their own qualities; the more beautiful the woman, especially if she is also smart and wealthy, the “scarier” she is to men. It’s an unfortunate situation to everyone involved. The new generation, however, brings hope, as they seem to be able to see matters differently.
Tradução: Amanda Morris