At a first glance, it must seem that a free man is the one who has sex with as many women as possible, commits to none and is open to sexual experiences at all times. However, I believe this man is actually a slave to the old-fashioned concept of manliness and does not have a single ounce of freedom.
A free man, in terms of his sexuality, is one who can serenely handle not having an erection! For objective or subjective reasons, he might sometimes be unable to perform sexually with an attractive woman, a situation considered awkward and embarrassing by most. A free man, however, won’t panic nor think he has a medical issue. He’ll try to find out why he was unresponsive and won’t feel judged and berated by his partner. His self-esteem is solid and he can keep his calm.
A free man makes choices on his own terms, and that includes not having sex with just anyone. He won’t feel that abstaining will detract from his manliness, nor will he worry or be afraid that women or his friends – from whom he hides his sexual failures – will think he’s gay. He will be fine, because he doesn’t believe he has to prove he’s a “man’s man.”
The man I’m describing is free from all the commandments of old-fashioned manliness: he doesn’t have to be good at fighting and he’s not ashamed of enjoying art, nor of being sensitive. He does not feel judged, nor does he believe his worth as a human being depends on his sexual performance. He doesn’t compare with other men the size of his penis nor how often he has sex.
In other words, a free man is laid-back. Men who live this way and don’t feel like they’re missing out on anything for being selective about sex are still rare. Yet these are the ones who should be envied, not those who feel the constant need to take drugs to improve their sexual performance, so they can look good in front of their friends and women.
Tradução: Amanda Morris